h1

Qualifiers

April 16, 2010

I’ve been tempted to post an apology for being unqualified as a writer.  It is my nature to be apologetic.  It’s also 90% of my 9-5 job.  But I’m not apologizing here.  Here are the top ten reasons I am utterly and exceptionally qualified to be a writer:

10. I know I should credit Late Night with David Letterman and The Dick Clark Show if I’m going to post a cliché Top Ten List on my blog.

9. People generally find me aloof, peculiar and dislikable.

8. The venerable Jerry Matheny scrawled, “You’re writing well!” on my freshman journalling assignment.  That may be all the encouragement I’ll ever need.

7. I am a compulsive editor.

6. I dragged myself through the ruinous mortification of unrequited love—and lived to depress others with it.

5. I have a copy of Stunk and White.  I use it too.

4. I’ve been around long enough to see life from different perspectives.

3. I write prose more elegant than that of many published nincompoops.

2. I grew a beard.  I bought a tweed jacket.  I inherited a collection of pipes.  (I haven’t taken to smoking them yet.)

1. No one made you read this.  (And I thank you sincerely for doing so.)

Advertisements

One comment

  1. You forgot to list how witty you are and that you invariably make me laugh!!



Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s

%d bloggers like this: