Snazzy Lunch Pairing

May 11, 2010

One of my regular lunch spots demands my name with my order, so most of the staff know me now.  I walked in the other day and was greeted with, “Hey Lance—I mean Craig.”

A coworker shot back, “Lance and Craig look nothing alike.”

“But they’re both snazzy dressers.”

My defective gaydar sputtered to life.  A snazzy dresser named Lance?  Another part of my brain naturally started running numbers:

  • Odds that Lance is gay: 75% (Note the blatant stereotyping.)
  • Odds that he’s near my age: 65%
  • Odds that he’s single: 40%
  • Odds that I’d be interested in him: 50%
  • Odds that he’d be interested in me: 30%

Multiply all those together: 2.93%

I might have at least asked “When does Lance usually come in?”  I didn’t bother.  I sat down and ate lunch.


One comment

  1. Your post was hilarious! I like the percentages – very creative! Thanks for making me laugh!

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